Audiobooks and other ways I cheat

Listen. Three years is a long time to read from one list of books. It’s like a prison of classics and you start resenting literature. It’s like Charles Dickens and Margaret Atwood are kicking me in the gut with their run on sentences and multiple-page descriptions of a brick wall. Not really, I love literature (let’s be real) but it does get trying. It’s like after the honeymoon period of a relationship wears off. Well – suffice it to say the honeymoon period of ‘The List + Cat 4eva’ has passed.

confessional

CONFESSION: I’m cheating on The List with another list. It just feels so right, and when I need a break from The List, when I need to just get away from it all, my List-ress (get it? instead of mistress? told you I was funny) helps me do that. She’s just so feminine, and young, and exciting. So far I’ve been trying to balance The List with my list-ress but GOSH DARNIT ALL that’s hard to do. SO MUCH TEMPTATION.

If you’re wondering who was able to tempt me away from thrillers such as Tale of Two Cities and everything Jane Austen has ever written – it was Ludlow & Company’s “bookaholics anonymous” post and DAMMIT I’M NOT SORRY! MINDY KALING IS HILARIOUS AND “THE GIRL’S GUIDE TO HUNTING AND FISHING” MAKES ME THINK OF GEORGE CLOONEY.

And there have been others…the books I’ve cheated on The List with include (but are not limited to):

  • The Hunger Games Trilogy – Suzanne Collins
  • The Divergent Trilogy (Divergent and Insurgent) – Veronica Roth
  • 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy – EL James
  • Gone Girl – Gillian Flynn
  • The Secret Race – Tyler Hamilton
  • Bossypants – Tina Fey
  • The Age of Miracles – Karen Thompson Walker
  • The Slap – Christos Tsiolkas
  • How to Raise the Perfect Dog – Cesar Millan

Full disclosure; I’m also planning future deviations by way of Upworthy’s “101 Books To Read This Summer Instead of ’50 Shades of Grey'” which looks like possibly one of the greatest flowcharts to ever flowchart a flowchart in the history of flowcharteration.* Shoutout to my girl Frenchie** for showing me that little gem.

In the interest of transparency, I will also tell you that I’ve been listening to audiobooks to help me get through The List. I travel a lot, and podcasts used to be my homeboy, and I do still love a few of them, but lately audiobooks have been making my commutes all the more bearable. They’re also helping me do some serious damage reading-wise (does audiobook listening still count as reading?). Carmen and I had agreed that audiobooks were not allowed. Maybe agreed is the wrong word. Carmen threatened to drop out of the competition if I started using audiobooks – because my job has me travelling a lot, her view was that this would give me a clear advantage and barred it from the competition. Well BALLS TO THAT, I say. Audiobooks for everyone!

*flowchart by Teach.com
**not her real name, and Grease is an awesome movie

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