WELL. I think we can all agree that took a lot longer than anticipated.
I’ll tell you right off the bat that, although I did purchase the audiobook from Audible for this book, I didn’t actually use it. That’s right – I finished this book the old fashion way with eye-reading, not ear-listening. But that’s no excuse. I should have devoured this book in days, instead it took me weeks.
Why? What’s happening to me? Has my love of reading dwindled over the passing years, as my love of writing did shortly after university, and of painting in my early twenties? Then there’s my long forgotten love of drawing, which I left behind in high school…I used to be such an imaginative, expressive and creative one. Then I became an adult. How dreadful! It’s as if the more ‘maturity’ I accrue, the less creativity survives. Am I trading one for the other? It seems like social media is the only creative expression I participate in any more. Well, if I don’t like that I should do something about it, right? Right. But one thing at a time, ladies and gentlemen! You can’t rush self-improvement, you have to let it grow naturally (she tells herself so that she can avoid doing anything for the time being).
Another theory: these loves, these expressions of ourselves, there is no law which states that they must be constants in our lives. Why not circle back to them, when we are moved to do so? Maybe they haven’t died in me, but lie dormant instead until I find my way back to them. Currently my life is focusing on other goals and developments, and when I can, I will find my way back to these things which I once loved.
All of these things: writing, reading, painting, drawing – they all have one important thing in common for me: the ability to lose yourself in them. I think I’m starting to long for that experience again…when I’m so engrossed in what is in front of me (book, paper, canvas…) that the world around me becomes blurred. I was really hoping that Locke would do that for me. Alas, not this time.
The book was only okay. The story is largely focused on the confused, passionate, and strained relationship between Locke and Sabetha (the two main characters in Republic): lovers who never seem to be able to get it together for more than one night (at best). It was also the telling of two stories parallel one another – one in present time, one in the past. I found myself speed reading through the story of the past, trying to get to what I felt was the ‘real’ story.
I spent so many years in anticipation of this book that I have to wonder whether it ever had a chance of meeting my vastly exaggerated expectations for it. It’s likely that it didn’t have a shot in hell.